The Many Different Types of Peters

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Pretend for a minute you’re not six-years-old, ignore the blatantly obvious x-rated pun in the headline, and keep reading.

I’ve decided there are several types of us in each of us, and they all depend on the time of day or night.

For instance – 10pm Peter is the one who dutifully gets into bed so he can get up at 5am and rock a great workout. But 4:45am Peter is the one who wakes up 15 minutes before his alarm and secretly changes the alarm to 7am, behind 10pm Peter’s back. Then at 7am, 10pm Peter and 7am Peter are all like “Dude! What the hell did you do?” to 5am Peter, but 5am Peter is nowhere to be found.

Then there’s 7:10am Peter, who’s in the shower and is like “This will never happen again, you’re canceling your drinks tonight so you can get to sleep and make sure you get up early tomorrow and workout. Unfortunately, 7:10pm Peter speaks an entirely different dialect than 7:10am Peter, so the two never seem to communicate properly.

7:30am Peter is the one who’s all about healthy – One egg white, some protein, and a big bottle of water. Of course, he’s always been bullied by 12:45pm Peter, who has a lunch meeting and skips right over the salad to order the Cheese-Steak sliders.

3pm Peter of course, gets totally sick and pissed off by the actions of 12:45pm Peter, and talks to 7:30am Peter about making sure this never happens again. For some reason though, they can’t seem to communicate an effective plan. Ever.

There’s Saturday morning Peter, who does his 75 mile bike rides, only to be derailed by 6:40pm Saturday night Peter, who convinces 9pm Peter that since he rode 75 miles, he can eat and drink whatever he wants.

Let’s not forget 2:30pm Peter who books a 6am flight for 4am Peter the next day, with the assurance that 4am Peter will work for three solid hours on the plane, only to find that 4am Peter boards at 5:45 and promptly sleeps through the whole flight.

The question, which I’d love an answer to in the comments, is simply this: How do we get all the different “us’ses” to talk to each other and work together? All suggestions appreciated.


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