Holy crap, the pain…

Have you joined my incredibly non-annoying, once-in-a-while email newsletter?

No better way to title the post than that.

As you know, I participate in a ton of high-risk activities. Skydiving, marathoning, you name it. If I can’t potentially die doing it, hell, it’s not a sport. Which makes the damn irony of this so much more annoying.

Last Tuesday, in an effort to get to my Social Media Club speech on time, I ran for the F train at 57th and 6th Avenue.

The doors were closing. This is nothing new, I’ve snuck through tons of times. Turn body sideways, slide in, take seat, life goes on. This is New York City, after all.

However, this time, I had a backpack full of books with me. So I turned sideways to slide in, and of course, the books caught the right door. Which meant that my chest caught the left door.

One full fracture of my 6th rib on my left side later, and I can’t take a full breath. Sneezing is equivalent to electro-shock therapy.

No running for 45 days, no skydiving for 75-90.

Yeah, the irony of my Achilles tendon finally fully healing three days or so before this hasn’t escaped me, either.

So what can I do… Well, not a hell of a lot.

I can watch what I eat, lest I turn into a 500-pound beast that has to wash himself with a stick.

So there’s no biking. No running. No lifting. No stair climbing. And of course, no skydiving.

So much for my creative endorphin/dopamine fueled outlets, huh?

I’d rather die than have to sneeze or blow my nose again.

In fact, considering what my options are, I might do some research into being put into a medically induced coma until the rib heals and I can go play again.

I can’t run. That’s like telling a dog not to pant. Or telling my cats not to eat then puke. Or telling large agencies not to send out releases blindly without a care as to what reporter is getting it.

This sucks ass. It really, really does.

And to look at me, of course, you’d think there was nothing wrong.

What else… Oh, I was supposed to run the Miami Half Marathon this coming Sunday. So much for that. I will, however, be in Miami next Wednesday morning to speak at the third annual Mobile Adult Conference. If you’re in the Miami area and want to attend, let me know.

In other news… I’ve got three pitches out for new clients this week, as well as one meeting in New Jersey on Thursday with a potential huge new client. I shall keep you informed.

Finally… Back in the day when I wasn’t a $%$# cripple, I tried to do one thing every day that scared me. It’s a great way to live. On the 29th of December, I did one thing that really, really scared me. I did my first ever night-time skydive. Below is the result.

Leave a Reply