And by “weird evening” you mean, “typical evening.”

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Adult film stars Nicole Sheridan and Voodoo, and me, (the one who’s not the adult film star) on The David Lawrence Show, late Thursday night, live in Los Angeles.

Peter Shankman, Nicole Sheridan, and Voodoo, on the Davild Lawrence Show

Join the discussion 31 Comments

  • GabrielleNYC says:

    No has never been the worst thing to hear or answer to a question – Never trying or asking is the worst, IMHO. Nice blog Peter.

  • GabrielleNYC says:

    No has never been the worst thing to hear or answer to a question – Never trying or asking is the worst, IMHO. Nice blog Peter.

  • Anne Shelander Easterling says:

    As you noted in the excellent post about getting to the airport to early, another way to get from “no” to “yes” is by being polite and kind. Not always, but sometimes. “Sometimes” applies when the “no” rule was created to deal with rude, selfish people. And there are more of those rules out there than many of us realize.

    BTW, your piddly 340 jumps far exceeds my one jump — a static-line jump from a C-47 more than 30 years ago. But rather than getting frustrated that jumping didn’t become a lifelong hobby (which I truly hoped it would), I still draw strength from that one jump. After all, if I can jump out of perfectly good airplane, I can do anything.

    • shankman says:

      Thanks, Anne. And hey, I STILL want to do a static line one day! 🙂

      • David says:

        Don’t worry Anne, Shanks 340 gets dwarfed by my 5000. But he says in the door the same way we all should, no matter the numbers, “Life doesn’t suck.”

  • Anne Shelander Easterling says:

    As you noted in the excellent post about getting to the airport to early, another way to get from “no” to “yes” is by being polite and kind. Not always, but sometimes. “Sometimes” applies when the “no” rule was created to deal with rude, selfish people. And there are more of those rules out there than many of us realize.

    BTW, your piddly 340 jumps far exceeds my one jump — a static-line jump from a C-47 more than 30 years ago. But rather than getting frustrated that jumping didn’t become a lifelong hobby (which I truly hoped it would), I still draw strength from that one jump. After all, if I can jump out of perfectly good airplane, I can do anything.

    • shankman says:

      Thanks, Anne. And hey, I STILL want to do a static line one day! 🙂

      • David says:

        Don’t worry Anne, Shanks 340 gets dwarfed by my 5000. But he says in the door the same way we all should, no matter the numbers, “Life doesn’t suck.”

  • Dan Rosenbaum says:

    The worst answer isn’t a “No.” The worst answer is a no answer, because it’s a total lack of feedback. Nothing to improve on, no pushback. Just … void. I’d rather hear No than not hear anything at all — and will frequently push until I get it.

  • Dan Rosenbaum says:

    The worst answer isn’t a “No.” The worst answer is a no answer, because it’s a total lack of feedback. Nothing to improve on, no pushback. Just … void. I’d rather hear No than not hear anything at all — and will frequently push until I get it.

  • Maggie Barnes says:

    “No” also tells you a lot about the person or organization that uttered it. Is what you asked for really out of reach or is it just the fact that it is YOU asking for it? “No” helps me identify my opposing blocker – not always as enemies, though sometimes – but it is another GPS pin in the map for the group they are speaking for.

  • Maggie Barnes says:

    “No” also tells you a lot about the person or organization that uttered it. Is what you asked for really out of reach or is it just the fact that it is YOU asking for it? “No” helps me identify my opposing blocker – not always as enemies, though sometimes – but it is another GPS pin in the map for the group they are speaking for.

  • Leah Silver Graves says:

    My employer has different sets of rules for different people. For example, I’m one of the few that gets to travel for my job. However, I’m in a cluster of people that simply is not allowed to EVER work from home. To make up for that I do have a boss that allows me to take time off when I need it. I also can work from home if it is a day I’m traveling. So there’s a balance. I just know from 3 years at this job that sometimes NO is sticking for as long as you are in a particular position. Great post, Skydiver!

  • Leah Silver Graves says:

    My employer has different sets of rules for different people. For example, I’m one of the few that gets to travel for my job. However, I’m in a cluster of people that simply is not allowed to EVER work from home. To make up for that I do have a boss that allows me to take time off when I need it. I also can work from home if it is a day I’m traveling. So there’s a balance. I just know from 3 years at this job that sometimes NO is sticking for as long as you are in a particular position. Great post, Skydiver!

  • joseph says:

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  • joseph says:

    Our gave me goose bumps just watching, I’d love to jump that way. marketing multinivel

  • Stan Faryna says:

    I enjoyed your thoughts on the little NO. As you suggest, a little NO can be permission to do better, be better, and better understand the full context of the success for which we seek. And there’s nothing wrong with upping our game, skills and knowledge.

    My response to a recent NO is here:
    The Corsair: Whovian Fan Fiction, American-Gangnam style
    http://stanfaryna.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/the-corsair-whovian-fan-fiction/

  • Stan Faryna says:

    I enjoyed your thoughts on the little NO. As you suggest, a little NO can be permission to do better, be better, and better understand the full context of the success for which we seek. And there’s nothing wrong with upping our game, skills and knowledge.

    My response to a recent NO is here:
    The Corsair: Whovian Fan Fiction, American-Gangnam style
    http://stanfaryna.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/the-corsair-whovian-fan-fiction/

  • Katherine Rogers says:

    As a child, being told “no” was probably one of the worst
    responses I could hear. It did not matter if it came from my parents, friends,
    siblings or teachers. The word “no” is not something I was never excited to
    hear come from someone’s mouth. People don’t like to hear the word because it
    is defined negatively in most situations. No means no. It’s as simple as that.
    It means you cannot do something, you aren’t allowed to do something or maybe
    you aren’t even fit for the task that you are requesting. As I have matured and
    worked my way through school and now into my final years of undergrad, I have
    come to find that exactly what you have pointed out in this blog is true. “No”
    is not all that bad. I have to admit; sometimes I enjoy hearing the word. Being
    told no gives me the opportunity as a student to take a step back. It gives me
    the opportunity to discover where I can improve and where I am succeeding. I
    honestly believe that my experiences as a student have given me a more positive
    outlook on being told “no.” I am one to push myself until I can make something
    absolutely perfect. But, as we all know, no one is perfect. Learning to accept
    “no” as a positive response has taught me that I may not be perfect the first
    time around, but that there is always an opportunity to stop and learn what I
    can do to reach that “almost-perfect” result.

  • Katherine Rogers says:

    As a child, being told “no” was probably one of the worst
    responses I could hear. It did not matter if it came from my parents, friends,
    siblings or teachers. The word “no” is not something I was never excited to
    hear come from someone’s mouth. People don’t like to hear the word because it
    is defined negatively in most situations. No means no. It’s as simple as that.
    It means you cannot do something, you aren’t allowed to do something or maybe
    you aren’t even fit for the task that you are requesting. As I have matured and
    worked my way through school and now into my final years of undergrad, I have
    come to find that exactly what you have pointed out in this blog is true. “No”
    is not all that bad. I have to admit; sometimes I enjoy hearing the word. Being
    told no gives me the opportunity as a student to take a step back. It gives me
    the opportunity to discover where I can improve and where I am succeeding. I
    honestly believe that my experiences as a student have given me a more positive
    outlook on being told “no.” I am one to push myself until I can make something
    absolutely perfect. But, as we all know, no one is perfect. Learning to accept
    “no” as a positive response has taught me that I may not be perfect the first
    time around, but that there is always an opportunity to stop and learn what I
    can do to reach that “almost-perfect” result.

  • Katie Ryan says:

    I completely agree with this
    blog entry. Through out my short 21 years I’ve had many people doubt me or tell
    me I wasn’t capable of accomplishing something. I’m not strong or fast enough,
    you’re not smart enough, and only boys can do that… As soon as I heard that
    phrase “No, you can’t do that” my mind is made up. I will do anything and
    everything to do exactly what that person or people think I can’t. I would like
    to assume that I will continue this way of thinking as I get older and
    confronted with more doubtful people. I think hearing the words no is one of
    the best motivators. Proving people wrong is a great feeling especially when
    you are proving your own skills.

  • Katie Ryan says:

    I completely agree with this
    blog entry. Through out my short 21 years I’ve had many people doubt me or tell
    me I wasn’t capable of accomplishing something. I’m not strong or fast enough,
    you’re not smart enough, and only boys can do that… As soon as I heard that
    phrase “No, you can’t do that” my mind is made up. I will do anything and
    everything to do exactly what that person or people think I can’t. I would like
    to assume that I will continue this way of thinking as I get older and
    confronted with more doubtful people. I think hearing the words no is one of
    the best motivators. Proving people wrong is a great feeling especially when
    you are proving your own skills.

  • lori clabaugh says:

    I was told “no”.
    After this accident you can’t do martial arts ever again and you might start looking into getting a cane and becoming comfortable with the idea of having a wheelchair around.
    So I said “No” back! actually, I kinda screamed it out with every repetition of physical therapy and stretch. I went back to my doctor years later and showed him what a change I had made. I was actually healthier than I had been before the accident. I rebuilt my body with kung fu. More flexibility, more stamina.
    I asked him why he didn’t tell me that I could do this.
    He said, “Because nobody ever has”.

  • lori clabaugh says:

    I was told “no”.
    After this accident you can’t do martial arts ever again and you might start looking into getting a cane and becoming comfortable with the idea of having a wheelchair around.
    So I said “No” back! actually, I kinda screamed it out with every repetition of physical therapy and stretch. I went back to my doctor years later and showed him what a change I had made. I was actually healthier than I had been before the accident. I rebuilt my body with kung fu. More flexibility, more stamina.
    I asked him why he didn’t tell me that I could do this.
    He said, “Because nobody ever has”.

  • Allie Goatley says:

    I like your view that being told no can be used in a positive way to help motivate you. I know that being a university student I am told no a lot, whether it be from my parents, professors, or even from other students. It sometimes causes me to be unmotivated about my school work and my future, but then I remind myself that proving to someone that I can do something they said no to is worth it in the end. I think sometimes people tell us no not because we don’t deserve something, but because they know that we can do better than we have been and they want us to give our all to get a yes. After I graduate from college I’m sure I will encounter being told no on multiple occasions but I will remind myself that no is just a delay towards a yes. It’s reassuring to hear that someone so far into their career has been told no various times and used it as a building block to work his way up to a yes. I also like your explanation of the end result of hearing no. It really is beneficial to hear it from time to time and makes finally hearing yes feel like a great accomplishment.

  • Allie Goatley says:

    I like your view that being told no can be used in a positive way to help motivate you. I know that being a university student I am told no a lot, whether it be from my parents, professors, or even from other students. It sometimes causes me to be unmotivated about my school work and my future, but then I remind myself that proving to someone that I can do something they said no to is worth it in the end. I think sometimes people tell us no not because we don’t deserve something, but because they know that we can do better than we have been and they want us to give our all to get a yes. After I graduate from college I’m sure I will encounter being told no on multiple occasions but I will remind myself that no is just a delay towards a yes. It’s reassuring to hear that someone so far into their career has been told no various times and used it as a building block to work his way up to a yes. I also like your explanation of the end result of hearing no. It really is beneficial to hear it from time to time and makes finally hearing yes feel like a great accomplishment.

  • Commenter says:

    I love how you include that it is with the exception of sexual situations. Some men tend to forget about that

  • Commenter says:

    I love how you include that it is with the exception of sexual situations. Some men tend to forget about that

  • Commenter says:

    I love how you include that it is with the exception of sexual situations. Some men tend to forget about that

  • Commenter says:

    I love how you include that it is with the exception of sexual situations. Some men tend to forget about that

  • Commenter says:

    I love how you include that it is with the exception of sexual situations. Some men tend to forget about that

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