A Publicist and Entrepreneur’s New Year’s Resolutions

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So it’s that time again. Time to make some resolutions that we all know we’re not going to keep, yet we do it anyway. Kind of like how we say, “No, I really don’t want another Vodka and Tonic, thanks,” and then vaguely remember saying it as we’re walking home singing “I Love the Nightlife” at the top of our lungs.

With that said, here are mine. Some are publicity related, some are entrepreneur related, and some are just personal. Hell, it’s my blog, I can do whatever I want.

In 2006, I resolve…

  • In 2006, I resolve to finish my book by May 1st. Actually, I don’t have a choice. That’s the date my publisher gave me to hand in my finished manuscript. I predict three to five international flights for me come April, so I’ll have nothing but 14 hours each way to type with no distractions.
  • In 2006, I resolve to make sure that when I pitch a client to a reporter, it’s something relevant, something timely, and does NOT make reference to any natural disaster or world-wide tragedy.
  • In 2006, I resolve to continue going to the gym at least once every day. Why? Two reasons. 1) Since this commercial breaks nationally on January 1, 2006 (mpg file) I’m legally bound to not re-gain any weight, and 2) At the gym, it’s the ONLY time during my day when my clients can’t immediately reach me. My cell phone, Sidekick, Palm, and global cell phone are ALL left in my locker. Everyone should do this. Seriously.
  • In 2006, I resolve  to make Jessica Coen not hate me. Oh, wait, she doesn’t hate me. OK, in 2006, I resolve to make Jessica Coen love me so much that she’ll want to marry me and have 10,000 of my babies. OK, Fine. I’ll settle for a once-a-year drink with Jessica Coen and the occasional mention under the “publicists we love to hate almost as much as Lizzie” category.
  • In 2006, I resolve not to stress so much. The fact is, I know from stress. I’ve been stressed. And 90% of the time I SAY I’m stressed, I’m really actually not even close to being stressed. It’s just easier than explaining what’s actually pissing me off. So I need to save my “I’m so stressed” comments for when I really am. I quote Stanley Moss, expertly played by Dustin Hoffman, in “Wag the Dog.”

“Try a ten A.M. pitch meeting, no sleep, coked-to-the-gills, and you haven’t even read the material. This? This is nothing!”

He has a point. Not that I’ve ever done that. Or been in that situation, pitching a new client. And won them. No. Of course not…

Marge: I wonder what he’s digging for…
Homer: Ehh, he’s probably digging for drugs.
Marge: There are no drugs buried back there!
Homer: Noo…. of… course… not.

  • In 2006, I resolve to not call or email Frank Manzo at 2 or 3 in the morning, because I’m at a club, drunk off my ass and just heard a song on the stereo that I SIMPLY HAVE TO HAVE AN MP3 OF SO I CAN WORK OUT TO IT RIGHT AWAY! Next to Paul Oakenfold, (warning, two year old REALLY fat photo of me) Frank is the most talented DJ I’ve ever met. And he has a spectacularly cool fiancee.
  • In 2006, I resolve to buy clothing, listen to music, say things, and dance in such a way that proves to everyone that I’m not gay. Actually, you know what? NO I DON’T. I will continue to have REALLY good freaking taste in clothing (other than the ripped skydiving jeans, which I have to keep wearing whenever I jump for good luck,) prefer dance music at gay clubs to straight clubs, speak the way I’ve always spoken, and dance as well as I’ve always danced, because that’s who I am. I know who I am, and I’m fine with it. You do whatever math you have to about me, and come up with whatever sum you get. If your calculations prove oddly mysterious to you, then you have to deal with it. Me, I’m fine with exactly who and what I am in that regard, and have no need to prove anything to anyone. Two snaps, a circle, and Z-formation, I say.
  • In 2006, I resolve to get AirTroductions funded, and to 50,000 members by June 30.
  • In 2006, I resolve not to send out a pitch that starts with “Dear Unveiled Press Guest,” like the one that AS at MB PR sent to CES press attendees. I also resolve to not send out personalized press invitations to the media at CES and GET THEIR NAMES WRONG, (starting off an email to a reporter named Peter “Dear Ricardo,” like CC at TC did.)
  • In 2006, I resolve not to drive so fast, even though I’m a better driver than 99% of the people who drive with me and complain about how damn fast I’m driving.
  • In 2006, I resolve to try and make more FRIENDS, and less BUSINESS ASSOCIATES.
  • In 2006 I resolve to visit at least ten drop zones outside my home drop zone, and have a photo taken of my jump there.  Like this one. I also vow to do a hell of a lot more of this. (mpg file, and yes, the chute opens.)
  • In 2006, I resolve to get my Continental Platinum status secured by June 30, 2005, and my United 1K status secured by December 1, so I don’t have  to take a last minute trip at the end of December on either airline to make sure I keep it that way in 2007.
  • In 2006, I resolve to be more organized, and actually take advantage of all the scheduling features on my many carrying devices, so I don’t do any of the following, like I did this year:

Grandma: “Peter, thank you so much for the beautiful birthday present.”
Me: “Well, I know how much you like sweaters.”
Grandma: “You bought me a scarf.”

Me: “So nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Person at party: “Yes, we met about two months ago at a meeting in Chicago.”
Me: “Right… You see, I’ve heard so much about you SINCE THEN.”

Friend: “So, Peter – What time are we having dinner tonight?”
Me: “Wait, you’re in Los Angeles? How cool! Yes, let’s get together!”
Friend: “Peter, I was THERE when you put dinner with me, IN NEW YORK,” in your book. You are such an annoy-a-tard.”

  • In 2006, I resolve to be a little bit nicer to everyone, and exactly 1% less cynical. That goes to EVERYONE. Specifically the people who know who they are when they read this specific resolution.
  • In 2006, I resolve to continue on my quest to just lighten the hell up, and not take so much of this crap so damn seriously.

Happy New Year, everyone.


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