Where’s Your Home?

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As I crossed over the Pacific a couple of days ago, my writing took me to an interesting place that I’d like to share with you today. I’d love to hear your thoughts at the bottom, and as always, thank you for reading, sharing, and allowing me to offer you some words. I hope you find them beneficial.

 

Let me ask you one question:

Where’s your home? I don’t mean your physical address… I mean something much deeper.

Well, to answer that question, you have to define a home.

If “a home” is where you feel most loved, then it’s obviously your home with your family.

If “a home” is where you feel most needed, then again, it’s probably with your family.

There’s no doubt that my “home” is in NYC with my family. It’s where I feel the safest – and the most loved, and most needed. But I’m talking about something else, as well…

If “a home” is also where you feel like you can be the best person you can be, which can translate throughout your life… Well, you might relate to this – because it might be the first time that your definition of a “home” will be truly understood.

I can tell you that for me, my “home,” based on the parameters in the above paragraph, (i.e., being the best person you can be), is not my apartment – it isn’t where I live – It’s not where my amazing wife and incredible daughter reside. Rather, it’s where I can BECOME the best person I can be – Where I can MOLD myself into what I need to be.

To get to that place where I can become my best, my answer becomes simple.

My home is an airplane.

Yup. It’s an airplane. It’s a winged beast, a mechanical method of flight, designed to transport us from one part of the earth to another in relative comfort. And for a lucky few, it’s a place we call home.

Now – Before you pull out your pitchforks and fire and come after me in the name of the seven Gods, let me explain.

I’m not sitting here like Ryan Bingham, saying that I’m unable to have a “home” with a family, that I’m unable to love, that I’m unable to be with anyone buy myself. Quite the opposite, in fact, so don’t go crazy on me before you finish reading.

When I walk through the door of my apartment and hear my daughter cry “DADDYYY,” there is no question in my mind that I’m home.

When I put my suitcase down, and my understanding wife walks up to me and gives me a hug to welcome me back from far away, there is no question in my mind that I am home.

But here’s the differential:

When I’m home with my family, and I’m the best person I can be? When I’m the one who sits with my daughter and teaches her the difference between the blue cup and the red cup, and why they’re different sizes? When I’m the one who tells a horrible joke that pulls my wife out of her bad day at work and into a laughing fit of happiness?

That person in me EXISTS in large part, because at some recent point, I was on an airplane.

Some people fly on airplanes to get away from their lives – I fly on an airplane to bring me back to mine. I fly on an airplane to be the best person I can be for those who count on me – My wife – my daughter – my parents, my friends, my clients, everyone.

I fly on an airplane because it’s how I deal with my ADHD, and it’s the one place where I can take my brain from 5,000,000 RPM back down to a more manageable idle. Locked in a seat with nothing in front of me, nothing to distract me, nothing to set off my “ooh! Shiny!” DNA, I have nothing to do but be at one with my thoughts.

And I’m one of the lucky ones in this world who can turn their thoughts into words, and their words into paragraphs, and their paragraphs into content.

And content, my friends, has made me quite a nice living.

I’m writing this post on UA79 from EWR to Tokyo. My shoes are off, I’m in my “Ask me about my ADD” t-shirt, and this this is my third blog post in as many hours, and I’ve got another ten before I land in at Narita. It’s Monday afternoon right now – I land on Tuesday, give a speech on Wednesday, and come home on Thursday. I’ll have been gone for two and a half days, but in that time, I’ve had 28 hours on a plane to be “home.” I’ve had 28 hours to write, to create, to come up with new ideas, to process new ways of thinking, to become a better person.

And when I land back in NYC on Thursday night, I’ll be better for the journey I’ve just taken. I’ll come home not only with physical gifts for my wife and daughter, but with knowledge of who I am, with experiences from my journey, with new ideas for new books, with new ideas for new revenue streams, with new ways of building myself, my brand, and all that which I get paid to share.

In other words – My time on a plane makes me a better person for those in my life who matter the most when I’m not on a plane. (Tweet this!)

Sitting in my seat writing right now, with no distractions, no Internet, no mobile phone – This is where I do my best work – This is where I’ve written my books, (one of which is a bestseller, by the way,) this is where I come up with what’s next – Heck, a flight from NYC to California is where I came up with HARO – Go through my blog – The first post where I talk about HARO was written from a hotel.

Knowing what you need to do to make you the best person you can be and not doing it is a CRIME. (Tweet this!)

So for those who might be afraid to call home something different than what we would all expect, I encourage you to stand up and do it – and to understand that having the knowledge of what makes you a better person is something not a lot of us are fortunate enough to have – And if you do have that knowledge, don’t give it up – Find a way to make it part of you – Because then, and only then, will you truly become the person you want to be – for your wife or husband, for your daughter or son, for your girlfriend or boyfriend, and yes, MOST importantly, for yourself.

So after reading what I just wrote, I ask you once again, perhaps to a different answer…

Where’s your home?

As always, comments welcome and truly appreciated.

Join the discussion 23 Comments

  • Molly Jo Rosen says:

    I’d posit that “home” as you call it isn’t always a location, but can be a space in time. I work in horse racing… the moment when the starting gate breaks open and the world freezes for a split second ~ that’s my safe zone. Over 130 times a day we get a yoctosecond that is full of hope and promise and potential. No one’s won or lost or turned left and wiped out half the field ~ the next two minutes might be chaos, but we get that one perfect moment to reset. Home – for me – is getting to take that deep breath before pushing off to (hopefully achieve) greatness.

  • Molly Jo Rosen says:

    I’d posit that “home” as you call it isn’t always a location, but can be a space in time. I work in horse racing… the moment when the starting gate breaks open and the world freezes for a split second ~ that’s my safe zone. Over 130 times a day we get a yoctosecond that is full of hope and promise and potential. No one’s won or lost or turned left and wiped out half the field ~ the next two minutes might be chaos, but we get that one perfect moment to reset. Home – for me – is getting to take that deep breath before pushing off to (hopefully achieve) greatness.

  • Molly Jo Rosen says:

    I’d posit that “home” as you call it isn’t always a location, but can be a space in time. I work in horse racing… the moment when the starting gate breaks open and the world freezes for a split second ~ that’s my safe zone. Over 130 times a day we get a yoctosecond that is full of hope and promise and potential. No one’s won or lost or turned left and wiped out half the field ~ the next two minutes might be chaos, but we get that one perfect moment to reset. Home – for me – is getting to take that deep breath before pushing off to (hopefully achieve) greatness.

  • Molly Jo Rosen says:

    I’d posit that “home” as you call it isn’t always a location, but can be a space in time. I work in horse racing… the moment when the starting gate breaks open and the world freezes for a split second ~ that’s my safe zone. Over 130 times a day we get a yoctosecond that is full of hope and promise and potential. No one’s won or lost or turned left and wiped out half the field ~ the next two minutes might be chaos, but we get that one perfect moment to reset. Home – for me – is getting to take that deep breath before pushing off to (hopefully achieve) greatness.

  • David Delagarza says:

    Flying is funny that way. You are captive to your seat for hours. No other time in modern society are we bound that closely to one location for such an extended period of time (and, until very recently, without the distraction of high speed internet). I recently took a series of very long haul flights with my infant son to Japan, Singapore and New Zealand. Most people were horrified. I had a great time. I wrote the following about my experience:

    As parents who both work full-time, we have to pay someone to watch our baby for the majority of his waking hours. The time we spend with him at home is typically filled with distractions that take our focus away from him – dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be washed, food needs to be cooked, and something always needs to be cleaned.

    We have found that the actual one-on-one time we get to spend with our son is extremely limited and very precious. In this philosophy, the time we spent with our son on the flights was actually a good experience. We were not distracted by anything else, and we had nothing to do but interact with our baby (especially on the AVOD-less 14-hour United 747 flight). Sure, there were portions of the flights that were not so fun, and we did question our sanity several times.However, our baby will only be this age for a limited time, and I am truly grateful I got to spend some quality time with him at 30,000 feet.

  • David Delagarza says:

    Flying is funny that way. You are captive to your seat for hours. No other time in modern society are we bound that closely to one location for such an extended period of time (and, until very recently, without the distraction of high speed internet). I recently took a series of very long haul flights with my infant son to Japan, Singapore and New Zealand. Most people were horrified. I had a great time. I wrote the following about my experience:

    As parents who both work full-time, we have to pay someone to watch our baby for the majority of his waking hours. The time we spend with him at home is typically filled with distractions that take our focus away from him – dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be washed, food needs to be cooked, and something always needs to be cleaned.

    We have found that the actual one-on-one time we get to spend with our son is extremely limited and very precious. In this philosophy, the time we spent with our son on the flights was actually a good experience. We were not distracted by anything else, and we had nothing to do but interact with our baby (especially on the AVOD-less 14-hour United 747 flight). Sure, there were portions of the flights that were not so fun, and we did question our sanity several times.However, our baby will only be this age for a limited time, and I am truly grateful I got to spend some quality time with him at 30,000 feet.

  • David Delagarza says:

    Flying is funny that way. You are captive to your seat for hours. No other time in modern society are we bound that closely to one location for such an extended period of time (and, until very recently, without the distraction of high speed internet). I recently took a series of very long haul flights with my infant son to Japan, Singapore and New Zealand. Most people were horrified. I had a great time. I wrote the following about my experience:

    As parents who both work full-time, we have to pay someone to watch our baby for the majority of his waking hours. The time we spend with him at home is typically filled with distractions that take our focus away from him – dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be washed, food needs to be cooked, and something always needs to be cleaned.

    We have found that the actual one-on-one time we get to spend with our son is extremely limited and very precious. In this philosophy, the time we spent with our son on the flights was actually a good experience. We were not distracted by anything else, and we had nothing to do but interact with our baby (especially on the AVOD-less 14-hour United 747 flight). Sure, there were portions of the flights that were not so fun, and we did question our sanity several times.However, our baby will only be this age for a limited time, and I am truly grateful I got to spend some quality time with him at 30,000 feet.

  • Bethany Warner says:

    Home to me is near water; it is when I hear the water rolling onto a beach, the splash of a wave, a breeze whispering ever so gently past me, or a soft cry of seagulls overhead. Whether I am sitting bayside, driving along the coast…or even peeking out a hotel window, water brings me to my center. I previously referred to this as finding my ‘zen’, but per your description, I could, too, call this my ‘home’. It is here my busy mind finds peace….where it is settled enough to focus on one subject, one idea can be transformed into a paragraph ~ a poem; or thereto, where a thousand words can be condensed to a motivational phrase!

    My children’s hugs and love, my comfy couch and my king size bed…all which reside in our waterfront dwelling…. is a different type of home than that which I find on our beach.

    My writing has not brought me great financial success, but it has afforded me the opportunity to express feelings, to share knowledge and to soul search; it is my continuum for growth! My passion is writing, my career is accounting. ..I have been following you on Facebook because your words are inspirational and motivating; I’ve been a silent follower for a while, and would like to thank you for all you share!

  • Bethany Warner says:

    Home to me is near water; it is when I hear the water rolling onto a beach, the splash of a wave, a breeze whispering ever so gently past me, or a soft cry of seagulls overhead. Whether I am sitting bayside, driving along the coast…or even peeking out a hotel window, water brings me to my center. I previously referred to this as finding my ‘zen’, but per your description, I could, too, call this my ‘home’. It is here my busy mind finds peace….where it is settled enough to focus on one subject, one idea can be transformed into a paragraph ~ a poem; or thereto, where a thousand words can be condensed to a motivational phrase!

    My children’s hugs and love, my comfy couch and my king size bed…all which reside in our waterfront dwelling…. is a different type of home than that which I find on our beach.

    My writing has not brought me great financial success, but it has afforded me the opportunity to express feelings, to share knowledge and to soul search; it is my continuum for growth! My passion is writing, my career is accounting. ..I have been following you on Facebook because your words are inspirational and motivating; I’ve been a silent follower for a while, and would like to thank you for all you share!

  • Susan Alderson says:

    At the SF Mastermind, we were talking about relevancy, remember? This is where we do it, the place or moment that we fulfill our contribution. It’s the focused attention, the training coming to fruition, the ‘thing we do’.

    Me – I answer questions. If I don’t know the answer, I find it, and ask harder ones. The place where I am at home, where I become the best, is when I am in front of a group of people (or even one), thinking on my my feet, just because they want to know more. I love to see the light bulbs go on, to find a different way, to show an alternate interpretation or a drastic solution. And if I can put numbers to it, and prove it – even better.

  • Susan Alderson says:

    At the SF Mastermind, we were talking about relevancy, remember? This is where we do it, the place or moment that we fulfill our contribution. It’s the focused attention, the training coming to fruition, the ‘thing we do’.

    Me – I answer questions. If I don’t know the answer, I find it, and ask harder ones. The place where I am at home, where I become the best, is when I am in front of a group of people (or even one), thinking on my my feet, just because they want to know more. I love to see the light bulbs go on, to find a different way, to show an alternate interpretation or a drastic solution. And if I can put numbers to it, and prove it – even better.

  • Teri says:

    I love this…I find my travel time to be a great time to come back to myself. I can also do this sitting by a brook, of course, but even then, I can turn on the internet, phone or whatever, to distract myself. I love traveling for the reasons you talk about. (The other piece, is honestly that when you miss someone, you appreciate them even more.) We move around around a lot in my family, with two homes and on the road a lot. We consider home wherever we are. I can make “home” anywhere. It’s an attitude, not a place. Travel creates a great sense of anticipation, wonder and education – you bring all of you to that, ideally, and then bring all of THAT back with you. While there are definitely home places that are special, important, comforting in their regularity, where you can kick your shoes off in a way like no other. But home is about coming home to yourself – the ultimate home. Awesome, Peter.

  • Teri says:

    I love this…I find my travel time to be a great time to come back to myself. I can also do this sitting by a brook, of course, but even then, I can turn on the internet, phone or whatever, to distract myself. I love traveling for the reasons you talk about. (The other piece, is honestly that when you miss someone, you appreciate them even more.) We move around around a lot in my family, with two homes and on the road a lot. We consider home wherever we are. I can make “home” anywhere. It’s an attitude, not a place. Travel creates a great sense of anticipation, wonder and education – you bring all of you to that, ideally, and then bring all of THAT back with you. While there are definitely home places that are special, important, comforting in their regularity, where you can kick your shoes off in a way like no other. But home is about coming home to yourself – the ultimate home. Awesome, Peter.

  • Teri says:

    I love this…I find my travel time to be a great time to come back to myself. I can also do this sitting by a brook, of course, but even then, I can turn on the internet, phone or whatever, to distract myself. I love traveling for the reasons you talk about. (The other piece, is honestly that when you miss someone, you appreciate them even more.) We move around around a lot in my family, with two homes and on the road a lot. We consider home wherever we are. I can make “home” anywhere. It’s an attitude, not a place. Travel creates a great sense of anticipation, wonder and education – you bring all of you to that, ideally, and then bring all of THAT back with you. While there are definitely home places that are special, important, comforting in their regularity, where you can kick your shoes off in a way like no other. But home is about coming home to yourself – the ultimate home. Awesome, Peter.

  • Teri says:

    I love this…I find my travel time to be a great time to come back to myself. I can also do this sitting by a brook, of course, but even then, I can turn on the internet, phone or whatever, to distract myself. I love traveling for the reasons you talk about. (The other piece, is honestly that when you miss someone, you appreciate them even more.) We move around around a lot in my family, with two homes and on the road a lot. We consider home wherever we are. I can make “home” anywhere. It’s an attitude, not a place. Travel creates a great sense of anticipation, wonder and education – you bring all of you to that, ideally, and then bring all of THAT back with you. While there are definitely home places that are special, important, comforting in their regularity, where you can kick your shoes off in a way like no other. But home is about coming home to yourself – the ultimate home. Awesome, Peter.

  • MCJansen says:

    I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I finally decided that home for me is outdoors. I am at my happiest when I am outside, and if I am not relaxing (and therefore rejuvenating so I can be my best self), I am doing something active which feeds my soul in so many ways and makes me feel really, truly alive, very optimistic, and full of goodwill. If I feel my best, I act my best. Thanks for this fabulous post Peter. It really made me think!

  • MCJansen says:

    I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I finally decided that home for me is outdoors. I am at my happiest when I am outside, and if I am not relaxing (and therefore rejuvenating so I can be my best self), I am doing something active which feeds my soul in so many ways and makes me feel really, truly alive, very optimistic, and full of goodwill. If I feel my best, I act my best. Thanks for this fabulous post Peter. It really made me think!

  • MCJansen says:

    I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I finally decided that home for me is outdoors. I am at my happiest when I am outside, and if I am not relaxing (and therefore rejuvenating so I can be my best self), I am doing something active which feeds my soul in so many ways and makes me feel really, truly alive, very optimistic, and full of goodwill. If I feel my best, I act my best. Thanks for this fabulous post Peter. It really made me think!

  • MCJansen says:

    I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I finally decided that home for me is outdoors. I am at my happiest when I am outside, and if I am not relaxing (and therefore rejuvenating so I can be my best self), I am doing something active which feeds my soul in so many ways and makes me feel really, truly alive, very optimistic, and full of goodwill. If I feel my best, I act my best. Thanks for this fabulous post Peter. It really made me think!

  • Teddybear says:

    I’m peppering all your old posts with comments, because I just discovered your blog and I rather like it 🙂

    Home for me is when I’m meditating. There is nowhere more like home when you’re one with the universe! I also have Welsh blood so there is a constant yearning for the coast of Wales… I love to surf there, a meditation in itself. Home would probably be surfing in Wales. If we’re being specific. But I believe home can be anywhere, if you know where your heart is.

  • Teddybear says:

    I’m peppering all your old posts with comments, because I just discovered your blog and I rather like it 🙂

    Home for me is when I’m meditating. There is nowhere more like home when you’re one with the universe! I also have Welsh blood so there is a constant yearning for the coast of Wales… I love to surf there, a meditation in itself. Home would probably be surfing in Wales. If we’re being specific. But I believe home can be anywhere, if you know where your heart is.

  • Teddybear says:

    I’m peppering all your old posts with comments, because I just discovered your blog and I rather like it 🙂

    Home for me is when I’m meditating. There is nowhere more like home when you’re one with the universe! I also have Welsh blood so there is a constant yearning for the coast of Wales… I love to surf there, a meditation in itself. Home would probably be surfing in Wales. If we’re being specific. But I believe home can be anywhere, if you know where your heart is.

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